Ground may be closer than it appears

Music: Alkaline Trio, Dead on the Floor

Friday posts are typically not read all that well. All the same, for your weekend and on behalf of our nation’s BDay, here is USA Gymnast Nastia Lukin falling off the high bar.

Feel free to watch this video as often as necessary to get the idea. Here’s the point of this. Karma often shows up to punish me for bad jokes, and I truly believe it.

I was watching the Olympic trials last week with some of the vile enthusiasm of a NASCAR fan waiting for crashes. Gymnastics is no doubt ridiculously hard. Even before the knee injury I couldn’t get up on that bar, in front of 20,000 people, and your entire country if you get selected. The pressure of situation must be difficult on a 22 year-old whose career is over because she is told she is old for a sport dominated by teenagers. Not to mention the sheer physical aspect of swinging by your pinky finger on a bar 10 feet in the air.

Even still, that didn’t stop me from watching this. And rewinding it. And watching it in slow motion. And making up a fun drinking game based on how high she bounced. You know the announcers were holding back on ‘What a Nastia fall’ jokes.

Can I have one more?

Maybe she should try out for diving…

Karma does not like me to tell such jokes I think. One of the things where there are definitely some kinks for my walk is hills. Specifically, going down them. Knee surgery gives you the balance of drunken sailor (what do we do with a druken Gerber…) and darkness and ego took care of the rest last night after fireworks.

Picture if you will: roots, downhill slope, sandals. Clearly a recipe for disaster. I take a step and the left leg (the good one, supposed to be reliable) slips, and instead of compensating like people with two good knees would do, my body went into “Protect Knee At All Costs” mode. I go limp, flail around a bit, wobble, and proceed to roll/slide to the bottom. Amanda has a good laugh.

Hey, C’mon it’s not like I possessed that much grace before the injury.

For Scale: the story I would tell you.

Probably closer to reality.

I promise to no longer make fun of gymnasts eating it on national television.

(Yeah, we both know that’s not true)

That sound was your hopes and dreams crashing. Or your spine.

You would think I would have learned the first time, Duck and Cover.

Have a good weekend! Stay tuned!